Parody: Cure Neurotypicality Now

During a professional development workshop, we were asked to remix images, to swap rhetorical contexts and purposes in order to arrive at a new message. Out of ideas, I decided to parody curebie ads from organizations such as Cure Autism Now / Defeat Autism Now.

No offense meant to neurotypicals. Honest. 159 out of 160 children have a neurotypical spectrum disorderImage text: 159 out of 160 children have a neurotypical spectrum disorder. According to current estimates from the CDC, neurotypicality is on the rise by 6,000 percent in the U.S. alone. Neurotypicality knows no boundaries: It occurs in all racial, ethnic, and social groups and is 17 times more likely to strike girls than boys. Neurotypicality impairs a person’s ability to remain aloof. It is also associated with groupthink, persistent eye contact, enjoyment of social activities, and the inability to memorize bus routes. YOU can help. Donate to CURE NTs NOW and save our children. Neurotypicality: Learn the Signs.

Fruity goodness

I literally hate all fruit: it’s not a taste thing (usually); it’s wholly tactile. The only two fruits I can stand are apples and cantaloupe — and, even then, they have to be cut a certain way, in very tiny pieces, for me to stand them. Fruit is slimy and chunky and gross, and biting often involves a sensation that I imagine is analogous to chewing styrofoam or eyeballs.

I’ve taken to getting nutritional value by eating baby food, specifically, banana baby food. All fears of potassium deficiency can be alleviated, thanks to Gerber. Of course, many people find it “strange” or “psychotic” that an adult woman would willingly eat and enjoy baby food. I think the invisibility of sensory dysfunction affects me most — why is pureed food such a “bad” or “socially inappropriate” thing? Why are soft foods infantile and chewy steaks manly? Who made these decisions?

bananaGerber, fresh from the freezer.

I loathe chunks, gag on chunks, and baby food hasn’t got any chunks. It also hasn’t got any pulp, and I don’t have to worry about my lips touching the food because I can spoon the food straight into my mouth. (Dirty/gritty sensations on my lips drive me into panic. Literally. I am the paper napkin/wet nap queen.)

In short, banana baby food pwnz0rs.